CONVERSATION OR CHATTER | How to make friends with your inner voice.
One of things I hear most often from my clients, is that they can’t silence the voice in their head and their goal is to find a state of mental quietness. But, what if the pursuit of silence is the wrong goal? As Ethan Kross says, Director Emotion & Self-Control Lab, University of Michigan, our inner voice “is an incredible problem-solving device.”
The reality for the vast majority of us is that the mind is rarely silent. And nor should it be!
CONVERSATION VERSUS CHATTER
Our inner voice exists for a reason. The quest is not to silence this incredible tool we have but instead to harness its power. The starting point is to identify what is a helpful a conversation with yourself or debilitating chatter.
It’s easy to succumb to the debilitating chatter and find yourself on a merry go round of negative thoughts, catastrophising and letting your imagination run wild. We’ve all been there at some point, whether it’s with a work situation or something more personal. This tendency so many of us have to ride that wave of chatter creates stress and all those strong feelings that come with it, like anxiety, overwhelm and paralysis.
I’ve been there myself many times. Being a solopreneur I come up against the chatter every day!
INDIA 1999
On the cusp on the Millennium in 1999 I was in a bus crash in India, which rocked my world. I came home in one piece physically but was left traumatised by the accident. I bought into the chatter that told me it wasn’t safe to drive anymore and an accident was waiting around every single corner. As a result, it took me years to get to a place where I could confidently drive again.
When I finally had the powerful conversation I needed to have with myself, asked for help and created habits to help me break the cycle everything changed. These days getting behind the wheel is easy and I am so grateful that I persisted and that the driving anxiety I once had is behind me.
CLIENT STORY
I see this theme of mental chatter sabotaging client goals all the time. The chatter becomes the loudest voice and it takes over, making them doubt their ability to change and succeed.
I saw this happen in real time for a client who had set themselves some big goals for their health. The inner chatter was so loud for this particular client that they almost gave up. The voice in their head was telling them they needed to conform to ‘the norm’, put everyone else first and maybe the change they wanted wasn’t for them after all!
We worked on mindset and proving the chatter was wrong, as well as, growing the confidence to share their health goals with the family so that their morning rituals could be prioritised as sacred time for them. Within months, this client had transformed their health and life.
STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH YOURSELF
When you make friends with your inner voice it becomes a powerful self-coaching tool for change.
Next time your chattering inner voices pipes up and is trying to keep you stuck and limiting your growth, be bold and change the conversation. Instead of listening and doubting. Get curious. Ask intelligent questions. Shift the inertia and move forward.
QUESTION
How's your inner chatter holding back? And, what are you going to do about it next time the voice gets loud?
WHAT'S MAKING ME SMILE THIS WEEK
CONNECTION: “You've both grown and changed, but the moment you start talking, the years melt away.”
COURAGE: Walking with my clients as they take the courageous steps to forge something new for themselves.
FAR-FLUNG DESTINATIONS: Getting excited about exploring Croatia and soaking up the Mediterranean sun in a couple of weeks.
I can support you, your team or organisation in a number of ways to lift results. Check out these links:
Free resource: Download your copy of my leader’s guide on how proactively managing executive stress benefits the individual, teams and whole organisations.
Book a call: Let’s talk about your challenges and how I can help.
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